I had an email from a lawyer friend the other day confessing that on his return to the courtroom after a six month break due to illness he felt as if everyone around him was talking Martian. I certainly know that when I last returned from a 3 week holiday I was certain that I was talking Martian, for the first hearing at least.
I've been on maternity leave since more or less the start of March, so now my first court date is looming I am getting a little concerned at how I will slot back into the suited world. Will I remember to take the raggy off my shoulder before going into court? Will I have sick down my skirt? Will I do inane baby talk to the cute likkle 'judgy-wudgy'? Will my breast pump start vibrating in the middle of submissions when I kick it under the desk with my foot? Will my oh-ever-so-tight pre-baby-sized suit rip loudly as I stand to make my closing submissions? Will I be able to draw my attention away from the washing of nappies to concentrate on the taskat hand? Will I fall off my heels on the way out to lunch, having worn nothing but sandals, slippers and trainers for 3 months? Lets face it - will I be able to string together a coherent sentence?
In reality it will be fine - after all I've been doing the job for a lot longer than I haven't. But I have no doubt at all it will be very wierd. Now I've got to go and burp a little alien...