I’m used to being kicked discreetly by my solicitor when I say something stupid in court (joke) but I have other distractions at the moment, such as a lack of anywhere to expand my lungs, a foot lodged under my ribs and the constant need that clients and opponents currently have to double check ‘you’re not about to have it now are you?’. Not to mention the urgent need to go to the loo five minutes into every hearing. But hey, I take it all in my (penguin) stride.

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The lovely security guard at Bristol has told me I’m ‘blooming, no really blooming’ (transl: wow you are MASSIVE) fifty times if she’s told me once, my client last week compared me to a skittle, and in certain courts I can’t fit behind the bench without almost toppling backwards into plebs row.

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It won’t be long now. Of course I will keep blogging (in fact I was strangely prolific last time I was on maternity leave), but this is just to say: if you notice a gap in posting don’t go away for ever. I will be back and I expect you lot to be too.

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But for now at least, I am still rolling (quite literally) from one hearing to the next, reassuring all my clients that they are getting two heads for the price of one, and a funny walk to cheer them up.