With Family Justice down the pan, I thought I ought to start thinking about my next career.

So… Welcome to Familoo – home of the Family Toilet Seat!

It appears that not only does everybody need a thneed, but they also need a familoo toilet seat.

I’m kidding of course. This is a website that someone sent me a link to, from an Australian toilet seat company. Fair dinkum.

I don’t like to wee on their bonfire, but I’ve already got one of these in my bathroom, and very good it is too. But I don’t think it is a toilet revolution as mine is some other brand (I’m PRETTY sure I’d have noticed if it was called FAMILOO!).

Those for whom a Familoo is a useful bathroom accessory will be only too alive however, of the pressing need for someone to invent a device that will stop small boys weeing on the floor / walls / behind the loo. I reckon if I can patent such a genius  thing I will be able to retire a very wealthy Familoo.

Anyway, I’d like to thank the company behind this website for providing some very entertaining, if entirely puerile, toilet-humour amusement during my few minutes of work avoidance today. I have particularly enjoyed creating imaginary answers such questions as :

• What material is Familoo made from? (90% sugar and spice and all things nice, 10% stroppy mare)
• Will the Familoo fit my toilet? (probably, although there was once an embarrassing suction related incident requiring the assistance of a nice fireman)
• If I move can I take my Familoo with me? (of course, I am your virtual friend – you can find me on twitter wherever you and your toilet are : @familoo)
• What if my Familoo is faulty? (Familoo is never wrong)
• Does the Familoo fit blind fixing toilets? (No. I’m a lawyer not a plumber for goodness sakes.)

Right, toilet break over. Now back to the serious stuff…

Love from (the real) Familoo xxx