I switched on the radio yesterday to hear this heartbreaking and painfully authentic performance by the amazing Michaela Coel (@ 33m40). It is like all those schedules of allegations and witness statements lifted off the page and made real. It speaks of the pattern of so many womens’ lives and is a reminder of the gendered nature of domestic abuse (which of course is dished out by both men and women but in different ways and as a result I think of different root causes).
I heard this too. Powerful.
You state that domestic violence is dished out by men and women in different ways – rather as an apologist for female violence would seek to imply the women’s version is somehow more contained and less violent, justified perhaps.
I take issue with that. A thump on the head is just the same, whoever dispenses the treatment and women do engage in those kind of things.
No doubt there are different patterns between the sexes but don’t try to play down female violence. It can be exactly the same – gratuitous, impulsive and controlling.
You are taking issue with something I haven’t said then.
I haven’t and don’t suggest that women’s violence is more anything – not more contained or less violent. Just arising from a different motivation and experience and expressed in different contexts and in reaction to different triggers. I’m talking about patterns not individual cases. And yes it can be gratuitous, impulsive and controlling.