I picked up a little pocket card marked with the words ‘dad info’ today, whilst out at the baby weighing clinic (he put on almost half a pound if you’re interested). It led to an interesting little sojourn around the web this afternoon (and a rather meandering blog post…):  

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Dadinfo is a really useful and well put together resource for dads – and mums – and its section on relationship breakdown and legal rights gives a refreshingly balanced and plain english explanation of the position for dads who are worried what will happen if their relationship breaks down and they need to go to court. It doesn’t perpetuate the myth of judicial bias but simply acknowledges the obvious reality that cultural assumptions that we are all prone to rely upon about parenting sometimes play a part in judicial decision making. And of course those cultural assumptions about what it is to be a mum or a dad are being broken down every day. It promotes positive communication and attempts to resolve matters out of court – hurrah. I commend this website to you. I am going to add it to my blog roll now…

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One of the authors of dadinfo is a chap called Gavin Evans (he must be alright ‘cos he lectures for Birkbeck) who writes intelligently about the issue of gender and parenting roles on his blog. Posts and comments on that blog have led me to this book, which is now on my list of books to read just as soon as I have a mo (i.e. when I retire).

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It’s been nice to read these bits and pieces, and when I’m just about to go back to work and ‘abandon’ my little one to the one with the beard its particularly nice to hear about dads who have been involved in equal parenting ventures and made a success of it (not that I didn’t know they were already out there) without being bombarded with father’s rights style militancy. Although I don’t have any trouble with abandoning traditional parenting roles and chopping and splicing ‘mum’ and ‘dad’ roles to suit, you’d be surprised how many odd looks we have had when people hear about our plans for childcare.

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By way of example, last week whilst I was doing a half day at work, my other half was looking after the sprog in a coffee shop, and was told by a middle aged woman: ‘Oh you’re so good with him – my husband never did that with my kids’, as if his ability to sit and hold a 2 month old baby without being supervised by me was something to be marvelled at. Whilst it was obviously intended as a compliment about the modern dad, on his behalf I’m a little insulted all the same. Of course he’s good with him – he’s his DAD. Its not a freak show, lady. 

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Anyway, the point is – you might almost believe from dad.info that being a hands on dad was normal….We need more of that positivity about fatherhood. Dads are gRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEAAAAT! (NOT an endorsement of tooth-rotting-Frosties which are not grRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEAAAAT for teeth) RANT ENDS.