Tis the season of over-indulgence and consumption. Even our facebook feeds are bloated and lugubrious with twinkling tableaux of our own version of christmassy perfection. But as I slump Jabba-like, picking stray pistachio shells, decapitated lego heads and monopoly hotels from the sofa cushions and the folds in my too-tight clothing… as I limply blow party popper string from my brow whilst ignoring cries of “mum can we have the ipad back yet?”, there is time for contemplation…

Yes, whilst Christmas is mainly focused on finding the last of the orange cremes in the Quality Street, on not having one too many glasses of port, on polishing off the stinky cheese before the smell renders the entire household unconscious, and on attempting to avoid the outbreak of world war three between siblings and cousins (adults and children), a couple of things have forced me into serious reflection (and random thinking about the stuff of life does sort of creep up on you when you aren’t working 15 hour days all of a sudden).

Firstly, that Facebook thing. Last year we all had to post beautifully stylish, harmonious pictures of family perfection, regardless of the chaos and general mayhem and stress that went on between and around each frame. This year, the mandatory “thing” is to observe thoughtfully in a Facebook post that Christmas is difficult for many people, perhaps those with mental ill health or life limiting illness….Before going on to post beautifully stylish, harmonious pictures of family perfection. You know it. I know it. I did it. So did you. It’s done with sincerity, and the messages are themselves entirely right – there are those I know and love for whom Christmas IS a very difficult and stressful time – and yet it all feels so…insincere. So dirty. Like we are a bunch of Facebook sheep bleating the obligatory style of baaa this week*.

This is also the time of year where customarily we bloggers cut ourselves some slack and run those “top ten of 2015” easy blog posts to fill a little space when wrapping the kids presents needs to take priority over blogging, and when our bloggy- existential angst comes to the fore. Why am I blogging? What have I achieved in 2015? Even the mighty Suesspicious Minds is not immune from it : Humblebrag Thanks (he is amazeballs though so he doesn’t need to be humble, even though he really is genuinely self-effacing he has much to be proud of).

This year, just as all those nascent “festive” thoughts were forming themselves in my mind I was told off by a reader for having a “shitty regard” for my clients and bill payers, by posting a blog post referring to dysfunctional families in the context of the recent Star Wars film (“I get enough of dysfunctional warring families with a death wish in the day job…And the hairy overemotional inarticulate ones…”). Although I thought I was making a (weak) joke about a wookie, he thought “Your contempt for ‘us’ looks like it’s just bled through.” He thought I should think about a change career. Ouch. He was a lone voice, but who knows, others might have thought the same. And Pink Tape is nothing if it is not a place where people may respectfully, even forcefully, disagree.

But, notwithstanding that critique, I won’t be changing career or stopping blogging (not least because I am utterly unemployable as anything else). And I don’t think he is right – I DO work with dysfunctional families and see nothing to be gained by pussy-footing around that fact, and the black humour he interpreted as contempt was not that at all – but it did make me think. I always think hard before I hit the Publish button on a blog entry – usually I get it right – there are some who thrive on being offended of course, but most of the time I think most of my readers, both “professional” and “punter” are able to see that I actually give a sh*t. So it’s upsetting when someone misinterprets what I meant. On some level it is a failure of communication on my part. And an important reminder that other people’s perspectives and experiences are very different to my own. And from a self-validation point of view, it is an acknowledgment that people read and care about what I say even if they do not agree with it. I am at least not talking to myself or sounding off in an echo chamber of like minded clones of myself. That would be both pointless and dull.

I’ve slowed down a little on the blogging front of late, in reflection of the need to ease off and give myself some breathing room (remember my autumn meltdown?) I’ve had to prioritise The Transparency Project and paid work, which fortunately has been plentiful and interesting of late – and of course my own health and family. I’m fantastically proud of what we’ve achieved through The Transparency Project in its first proper year, and in particular of the truly collaborative way of working that we have developed, and of the materials we have produced which are drafted so that a single document can be a tool to help different groups of people understand a topic and to communicate more clearly about it between themselves.

But Pink Tape is important to me and I will not be letting it go. The end of a year is a good time for thinking about these things, however cheesy it may be. And I have come to realise – or to remind myself perhaps – that all this stuff : Pink Tape and The Transparency Project is about one thing : it’s about having a conversation. Not just lawyer preaching to non-lawyer, but a proper conversation. Not just the propagation of fake pictures on a wall with no real engagement. Not some SEO driven marketing pap with zero useful information and a picture of a gavel. But a conversation. Where people can speak, listen and be heard. And where we can all learn from one another.

We don’t do enough of it.

* It’s a social malaise almost as pernicious as the damned hipster beard. How many man-hours must be spent up and down the land primping, pimping, tweaking, waxing and sculpting the damned things that could have been spent on doing something useful, life enhancing or kind?.